purpose@work: Conversations That Matter (Episode 1)

I am excited to introduce this new video blog (vlog) series: purpose@work.  SIGN-UP for my infrequent newsletter to get the latest Conversations That Matter.  The one thing I am focused on with this series, and all my services, is how to increase employee engagement from this very sad 15% globally (according to Gallup).  There is a lot of research that proves, purpose-driven leadership is a key element in having more inspired employees (even higher than engagement).  ASK ME for my white paper: The Playbook for Purpose-Driven Employee Engagement where I've curated the latest research on the current and future state of engagement.

My first guest aligns in a great way with focusing on customer experience AND employee experience/engagement.  Diane M. Magers, is the CEO of the Customer Experience Professionals Association (CXPA).

Diane serves at the CEO and helps support providing value and community for each and every member and partner. She is a firm believer that it "takes a village" to help everyone succeed. She knows our work as CX practitioners are very tough and extremely important. Anyone who knows Diane would say she's very passionate about customer and employee experience and a driven change agent. Diane has over 25 years experience building and transforming organizations around their customers and employees – from the front line to infrastructure - working in and with brands such as Sysco, Invisalign, and AT&T.

Quick facts about Diane

• She started her professional career as a clinical psychologist
• Her first business venture with a friend started in the basement of his house and the company to $3M and 140 employees 4 years later - the entrepreneurial bug was born!
• She was an exchange student to Australia in high school, which launched her passion for travel

She would love you to contact her to learn more about CXPA: Diane@cxpa.org.

Please reach out to me if you know great leaders that are "walking the talk" in practicing intrinsic motivation in all aspects of their company culture: Bobby@BobbyBakshi.com.

Know Your Fear. Feel Your Power.

In life and in work, how often do we connect with our fears?  Truly connect.  Not hide, repress or deny them.  Not sugar coat them with “positivity” or brush them under the desk.  We know that a key trait of a great leader is taking ownership for outcomes and results: “The buck stops with me.”  We also know that being authentic and vulnerable is a great way to build trust.  Yet, most leaders shy away from owning their fears, those things that haunt them and they are reluctant to admit.

It’s one thing not to name them to others, but the first step is to be aware of them with ourselves.  When we are unwilling to admit to ourselves we fear a situation, an outcome, a person—the situation often persists and gets worse.  It becomes a cancer.  And soon we are so consumed by it, we forget its origin and why we are giving it so much energy.  It becomes a habit.  Check-in with yourself and see if any of these examples are true for you:

• What if I fail at meeting my goal at work?
• What if my partner leaves me?
• What if I get fired?
• What if I can’t deliver the quality my client expects?
• What if my team doesn’t get it done in time?
• (fill in your own: _______________________)

Honestly check-in to see if any of these (remember there’s a fill in the blank option) apply to you and if they don’t – set up time to talk with me, I want to understand why and learn from you.  For most of us, human existence starts with our primal needs driven by the Reptillian Brain.  This oldest part of the human brain was designed when we were cave dwellers and there was fear of lions, bears and tigers eating us up.  It’s the flight or fight response.  Things like the instincts of survival, dominance, mating and the basic functions of respiration, heartbeat all come from this area of the brain.

This part of our brain’s job is to keep us alive.  Period.  Not keeping us from: being embarrassed, feeling less than, not worthy or (yes, again—fill in your own version: __________________).  I repeat: the job of the primal brain is to keep us alive.  It’s binary.

On the other end of the brain is our most recent evolutionary addition—The Frontal Lobe, responsible for functions such as reasoning, problem solving and innovation.  It’s the center of endless possibilities with the opposite type (generative type) of “what if…”  Let’s take the same list above and flip it with this part of our brain:

• What if I fail at meeting my goal at work and I learn new ways to be even better?
• What if my partner leaves me and my ability to love myself grows deeper?
• What if I get fired and I find even greater opportunities to express my gifts?
• What if I can’t deliver the quality my client expects and it opens a conversation to learn their needs?
• What if my team doesn’t get it done in time and I have their back?
• (fill in your own—make sure to add “and…”: _______________________)

Again, please do not read these reframes as simply a “positive spin.”  These are inquiry questions of yourself.  When you genuinely start with such questions and keep probing to go deeper I would be shocked if in the end, you do not end up with a better, more generative set of options on how to tackle the situation.

Between the two extremes of the brain is emotion.  How we feel about our own words and actions.  How we feel about the words and actions of others in relation to us.  How we feel about world events and their direct or indirect impact on us.

The key is being self-aware of what part of your brain is driving your “car”: driving your thoughts, your reactions, your response, and your decisions at every moment.  Being honest with yourself about your inner dialog, “the monkey mind,” is the beginning of true power.  Rather than getting exhausted, stressed and burnt-out by ignoring what’s truly bothering you (dig deeper and it’s likely a fear or angry thought)—shine the light on it and see how you feel.  Just naming it and claiming it is liberating.  Freedom is at the heart of power. 

Give yourself permission to “Know Your Fear.  Feel Your Power.”  And reach out to me if you need support to navigate the journey of uncovering your root fears as a leader-of-self, as the opening to your brilliance, your power!  Sign-up for my infrequent newsletter.  Share this with others.

A “shout out” to The ManKind Project (the global non-profit I volunteer with extensively) for “Know Your Fear.  Feel Your Power” and the related process that teaches this core principle.

The 20 Minute Principle

Find me one person who feels they are not tight on time and we must talk. Even retired folks are so busy these days. Multi-tasking has been proven to be counter productive. There are endless distractions from being online constantly to our phones buzzing with notifications. Oh and then there's "back-to-back" meetings.

The only real solution all of us have to take control of my time is CHOICE. I get to say "yes" and "no" at every decision point. The question is--are we conscious of this fact? Do we take deliberate action to be mindful of how we use our time?

Presenting The 20 Minute Principle. Break your most important actions into small parts. Then focus on each part exclusively for 20 minutes. Zero distractions. No phone calls, no checking email, no looking at news/social media sites. Nothing but the one small task. Ideally, use a timer to keep yourself honest and treat it like a deadline.

Then also give yourself a deliberate break in-between. You decide the length of the break. I recommend 10 minutes. A break must definitely include getting up, walking around, getting water/a snack, perhaps using the bathroom etc. Again, be diligent and true to yourself to take the break and stick to the time.

You are likely saying--but I don't have 20 minutes to spare each hour (two 10 minute breaks). Ah and if you were to simply journal each 20 minute block of your day I bet you will find a lot of time: that hall way conversation that becomes 30+ minutes, the walk to get food, the endless time online without a focus..._______ fill in the blanks.

The top three benefits of applying this principle are:

1. Focus on One Thing: All success principles point to breaking big goals into smaller ones. Being clear about the one thing you want to get done in 20 minutes and keeping it realistic goes a long way. For example, if you want to write a book, spend 20 minutes to simply write the chapters of the book. Do another 20 minutes about the top 3 things within with chapter, and so on.
2. Feeling Accomplished: We are wired to feel good about getting things done, especially when they have great meaning to us. But even the day-to-day tasks (e.g. complete a travel expense report) feels great once you get it done, as opposed to the energy drain of holding that "to do" in your head/on a list etc.
3. Clarity of Mind: A clear mind is a more creative mind. When we turn off all distractions and have the discipline to stick with our plan, we feel in integrity with ourself. Watch how innovative ideas show up when we focus on one thing at a time and in those breaks we intuitive connecting patterns.

Remember, work and doing things we love is like running a marathon and not a sprint. Give yourself permission to plan your day, your week, your month this way. And yes, do turn this principle off occasionally, e.g. weekends, family time, time with a friend.

Want help to leverage this principle in your work life? Grab 15 minutes on my calendar and I'd be delighted to help you be more successful in doing meaningful work. Contact me if you and your company want greater employee engagement and productivity. Sign-up for my blog.

P.S. This took me 22 minutes to complete. Yes do break the principle when you are in the flow. Go as long as you stay in flow and do not distract yourself.

"Unless You Care a Whole Awful Lot..."

Spoiler-Alert: If you haven’t watched “The Lorax” and may want to—some of the story may be revealed in what follows…

Here’s a quick recap of the story-line.  Twelve-year-old Ted lives in a place virtually devoid of nature; no flowers or trees grow in the town of Thneedville. Ted would very much like to win the heart of Audrey, the girl of his dreams, but to do this, he must find that which she most desires: a Truffula tree. To get it, Ted delves into the story of the Lorax, once the gruff guardian of the forest, and the Once-ler, who let greed overtake his respect for nature.  In the movie, the creator and business tycoon of Thneedville is O’Hare.

I love how movies, especially animation films, have powerful leadership lessons embedded in them, for those who care to take them in.  These are just three of the many lessons I took away from “The Lorax” (thank you Dr. Suess and Universal Studios):

1.     “Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, nothing is going to get better.  It’s Not!”

Yes, Ted’s original motive to go find a Truffula tree was in self-interest.  What becomes very apparent as he sees beyond Thneedville is much bigger than just his self-interest.  The existence of humanity is at stake.  To save humanity and the planet, he takes it upon himself to get that last Truffula seed and is committed to planting it in Thneedville.

It takes courage to take a risk, especially when it’s against the existing way of doing things.  Life was so “perfect” in the sanitary Thneedville.  The grass (artificial turf) was always green, there was always electricity, water and sunshine.  Except it was all within a bubble, with none of the citizens of Thneedville being aware of something beyond their known world.  Ted dares to break out of the bubble and see what lies beyond.  He sees the problem created by the Once-ler and eventually gains Once-ler’s wisdom, or more like lessons learned from his greed and short-term plan to get rich.

Ted cared an awful lot to reveal the truth and to reclaim a better (more real) world.

ASK YOURSELF: What do I care about awful lot, in my immediate work environment?  Can you give yourself permission to entertain: “unless I speak up, find solutions and take action for a better outcome—nothing is going to get better.”

2.     The days of monopolies are over.  Freedom of choice and respect are what sell.

O’Hare was the ruler/owner of Thneedville and the people didn’t even realize it.  He supplied all their utilities and his company ran everything within the bubble town.  He was a monopoly, with a “smile.”  When all was going well, everyone looked happy, and they followed his rules.

When Ted cracked through the wall of the bubble and returned with the Truffula seed, he saw an immediate threat to his world, his monopoly (oh I forgot to mention, he sold oxygen too).  He tried to squash Ted and capture the seed.  On Ted’s first attempt to talk to the masses of people of Thneedville, O’Hare won the people back with all the great benefits of his services and they swayed back to him.  It wasn’t until Ted truly broke a part of the wall around the bubble, and the masses saw the barren land that lay beyond—with all the trees cut down by Once-ler (who’s now reformed), that the masses woke up and unanimously saw Ted’s point.  They dumped O’Hare and started a new existence, with that one Truffula seed.  All thanks to one kid, Ted, who dared to lead in such a powerful way.

ASK YOURSELF: What am I holding on to as my own turf and not willing to see the impact on others?  How would you show up at work if you engaged all stakeholders in an open dialog about each person’s agenda?  Try it out.  I bet you’ll end up more successful (as Ted was—got the girlfriend) and so will the collective (Thneedville got freedom and choice).

3.     Seek out and respect the wisdom (and gumption) of elders.

Grammy Norma is Ted’s grandmother.  She shares hints of what is beyond the bubble, enough to get him curious but not spell it out for him.  He figures out how to get to gate that leads outside the bubble existence of Tneedville.  She has a wit and energy that has the audience intrigued.  She’s got a magical quality that’s appealing, an umph that had me thinking “I want to be that brave and fun when I’ve got dentures in my mouth.”

Grammy Norma played the role of a good coach.  She didn’t give Ted his answers but she stirred up his curiosity, and pointed him in the right direction.  She encouraged him.

ASK YOURSELF: If you are starting out in your career—who can I invite at work or elsewhere to be my mentor?  If you have one already, set an intentional agreement with the person on what you expect, what you are seeking as your next growth edge and invite them to agree/modify/say no to your agreement.

If you are more seasoned in your career—are you already intentionally mentoring at least one newer to the workforce person?  Are you clear about their agenda—current state and future state toward what they want?  What can you do to stir up their curiosity and teach them how to fish?  Be more a coach (ask) than a mentor (tell).

Perhaps the term “elders” conveys a parent/child relationship.  Yes and no.  Yes in cultures that respect their elders carte blanch it’s a bit obligatory.  Thinking of people in the workforce with a lot of experience as elders can help you: get curious to learn, to compare perspectives and to challenge you as you challenge them.  This can make for more open conversations between generations and levels of experience.  Naturally, this works in reverse too.  “Elders” must be open to listen and learn to those that are now standing on their shoulders, as future generations will stand on the shoulders of those who are new to the workforce.

AN INVITATION:

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7 Ways to TRY: Time to Reinvent Yourself

Thank you Disney, Zootopia and Shakira (video and lyrics) for the inspiration to reframe the lessons in this film to leadership and company culture.  Quick clarification--I am a big fan of Yoda's "Do or do not.  There is no try."  This Try is different.  It's about learning and growing.  It's actually about doing.

Let's look at a few lines from this song:

"I messed up tonight" How often do we admit to ourselves when we mess up at work (and in life)?  Self-awareness and ownership is the beginning of change. Having the courage to admit it to your leadership/peers/team is powerful stuff.

"I'll just start again" Close each day/moment/project/event with lessons learned.  No need for blame or shame.  Take each learning opportunity to grow stronger and wiser to accomplish your ultimate goals.

"Nobody learns without getting it wrong" Cultures that truly practice this principle are far more successful than those that foster CYA.  The CYA cultures result in lost productivity and are typically not focused on what's truly important to all stakeholders--customers, employees, stockholders and more.

"Try everything"  My interpretation of this is "try everything toward your very focused goal/purpose."  It's a very focused practice.  It's like Thomas Edison who  tried 1,000 times before inventing the light bulb!

"Look at how far you've come" As individuals, do we stop and look at the progress we've made toward a goal?  As managers, do we build a true relationship with our people to share concrete before and after progress?

"Take a deep breath" More and more corporations are embracing the science of mindfulness.  At the heart of it all (e.g. conflict, success, challenge) is our breath.  Can we slow down and get centered in the oneness of our breath?

"You filled your heart with love" Each night, after a day of work and life, can you honestly evaluate yourself based on love.  Did you create or participate in fear, doubt and anger or did you take what you love and create magic?  Science says the heart is truly our primary brain and operating system.

Finally, "time to reinvent yourself" also means if you are not growing you are dying.  As everything, it's a choice.  Would you rather slow down and self-reflect or keep repeating the same patterns?  Listen to the recurring feedback you get, positive and negative.  Learn.  Grow.  And remember, each night, each moment, love where you are, knowing you get to try again tomorrow.

Share your "Time to Reinvent Yourself" experiences here.  Sign-up to receive my infrequent newsletter, if you choose.

The Power of "We'll see"

Yes.  I'm guilty of mindlessly playing games on my phone as an escape.  No.  Not at the point where I need to find a 12 step program to let go of this addiction.  My current favorite is Merged.  Do watch the video.

Here's what occurred to me and how this relates to business and people development:

The objective is to connect three similar colors and they disappear--they open space for you to progress.  In business, we set goals, we get things done and then we open space to do other things we deem important.

There are times when I feel all my options are closed.  There's barely space left to earn more points, to progress in the game.  I feel defeated.  And then, voila!  Either the blast of 3 M's clears up space or something beyond my "strategy" pays off and the game continues.  I'm delighted and not sure quite how it happened.

One of our biggest barriers in business and people engagement is believing.  When all looks hopeless, a project is looking doomed--all it takes is one key move, one key person who believes--to shift things.  To turn the impossible into the possible.

Today's coaching for people managers and leaders is: consider using the power of these words "We'll see."  When a mentor used this with me the first time, it got me really upset: "What?  You don't believe I can do this?"  Luckily I was able to arrive at the flip of my perspective--maybe you will do it, maybe you won't or maybe something better will emerge from the lesson.

Go beyond the binary (can do it or can't do it) and open up to the power of "we'll see."  We'll see how it plays out also implies be courageous and try a bunch of things--the best next steps you can think of.  Learn when it doesn't work out and iterate.  Don't give up.  Inspire people by being neutral and perhaps igniting a spark in them, the self-driven power of doing our best, and watch the amazing results people can create.

Share your experience with "we'll see" by commenting here.  Sign-up to receive my infrequent newsletter, if you choose.

Three Ways to Cultivate a Culture of Integrity

Most companies have integrity as one of their core values.  Enron did.  The question is how exactly do you define it as a company and even more important how do individual employees define it?

The first definition I saw at Dictionary.com take the path of moral and ethical principles.  That's perhaps about being honest, but then say honest.  The second definition is more generative for a co-creative culture:

"The state of being whole, entire, or undiminished."

Here's how I interpret this definition of integrity:

• It's an inner job: Each individual has their own inner compass of what's right or wrong for them and for the world they live in.  We know when we feel "less than" which = not being whole.
• It's about self-responsibility: All HR guidelines, policies and legal statements are breakable.  When people approach life from a mature adult place, they take responsibility for their part.
• It's about consciousness: What's that higher purpose and meaning that drives what you do at work and in life?  Most of us operate at a higher level when we can evoke our higher self.

YOUR ASSIGNMENT, if you choose to accept: think about the most recent event when you faced a breach of integrity in the workplace.  How did you approach it?  How can you apply these three ways of living integrity?  Share your answer here.  Sign-up to receive my infrequent newsletter.

How To Create The Life & Work of Your Choice

Napoleon Hill said all creation happens in these three stages: conceive, believe, achieve.  The challenge is, the middle.  Most of us have a hard time really believing anything is possible.  That we have what it takes to follow our bliss and create the life and work of our choice.

That's the premise of my book "The 101% You: Seven Steps to Create the Life of Your Choice."  The steps emerged from a powerful peak event I accomplished.  During a week-long personal leadership workshop at a rustic ranch in California, I had the opportunity (along with a hundred participants) to do a series of high ropes courses.  Each one of the four events were challenging for most people, as they certainly were for me.  However, I knew from the start of the day that one event in particular would be my most challenging.  I quickly found out that I was drawn to that event as a symbol of the gift, the prize, I sought.

The event was to climb a fifty-foot telephone pole, get on top of a pizza size disc, stand up and balance yourself and then leap to catch a trapeze bar.  Here's how it went for me:

Step 1: Intention.  I got clear about what I wanted of the event: to grab the trapeze bar, after climbing the pole and getting on top of it.

Step 2: Choice.  It was my choice to do the event.

Step 3: Commitment.  I committed to another person exactly what I wanted.

Step 4: Work.  I climbed the pole.

Step 5: Power.  I hoisted myself onto the top of the pole.

Step 6: Integration.  I calmed myself when I was shaking the pole.

Step 7: Gift.  I turned to face the trapeze bar and leaped to catch it.

Now think of something you've really wanted to achieve at work or in life that you thought was really challenging or impossible to accomplish, but you did it anyway.  See if these steps played a role in getting you from Point A to Point B.

As creative beings, we must be clear about what we want--conceive the idea.  For most of us that's pretty easy (e.g. I want to be promoted).  There is typically no one formula to get from Point A to Point B.  There are many paths.  You get to pick a path, you get to choose.  Make sure it's your choice.  Do it for you.  Not for others.  Make a commitment to that intention by speaking it to another.  This adds support accountability.  Do the work necessary.  In the case of my climbing the pole, I had to grab one slippery staple at a time, not have high anxiety and keeping looking up at what I wanted, to stand firmly on top of the pole.

Power has received a bad wrap.  And we all know empowered employees are the most effective and successful.  Power comes from within, without taking anyone down on your path.  I was the last of 101 people to do the pole exercise.  I kept studying others on what I believed was the most challenging part of the experience--getting my body up onto the pizza size disc, stand and not fall.  Friends said later I took forever to make the move, to take that step to get on top of the pole.  What I realized later was, it wasn't just my intellect, it wasn't just my heart that got me there.  It was my animal instinct.  My guttural power.  I gripped the disc platform with both hands.  I let out a belly scream and hoisted myself up onto the platform, one foot at a time.  I leveraged all of my power to do this.  Bring all of yourself to your work, to your life.  Give it your best.

What happened when I got on top of the pole is by far my favorite part of the experience.  I was very excited that I did it.  I was standing on top of the pole, but it was shaking.  I had to remind myself my intention was to grab the trapeze bar.  I wasn't done yet.  A friend from down below said very calmly: "Bobby, you know it's not the pole that's shaking."  Ding!  I decided to take one, slow, deliberate breath.  The pole was calm.  I call this step "your integration" because it was the moment I realized we all have it within ourselves to achieve what we believe.  I smile remembering that moment.

Now I turned to face the trapeze bar.  It was more than twice my body length away.  I leapt Superman style, with my eyes on the prize--the trapeze bar.  I grabbed it with both my hands and I pumped it.  I wanted to kinesthetically feel and remember the experience.  I savored my gift of achieving my intention.

Finally, think back to both experiences of when you have and have not achieved your intention.  For the times when you did not achieve an intention, do you give yourself time to grieve the loss or do you gloss over it?  Yes there's power in knowing we can keep trying and let's allow ourselves time to feel the disappointment.  If I had not grabbed the trapeze bar I would have been very disappointed.  It would not be supportive for others to say "better luck next time."  Yes I'd do it again but first, I would need to feel the loss.

Luckily I did accomplish my intention.  I now teach this concept through workshops and talks to groups all around the world.  The key is for you to make it your own.  

YOUR ASSIGNMENT, if you choose to accept: think back to things you've accomplished that were challenging to achieve.  See if the seven steps apply.  Now use them to guide your way to your next challenging intention.  Share your answer here, at BobbyBakshi.com or on Twitter.  Sign-up to receive my infrequent newsletter.

Find Greater Employee Engagement By Embracing The "Impossible"

Recently, my nine year old daughter brought this play on the word "impossible" to my attention: I'm possible.  Wow!  Perhaps you've heard this before, but it was a first for me.  Here are three tips to reframe those things we believe are impossible at work and increasing employee engagement:

• Conceive | Believe | Achieve: Recognize that creation hinges of this principle proposed by Napoleon Hill.  Conceiving is fairly easy, but what you really achieve is what you believe.  You can't expect different results, by using the same thinking or tactics.
• High Self-Confidence: When we use the words "I am" before any statement we make, it's a Star Trek like "make it so" statement.  Be careful what you label yourself.  Have a positive intent for your own highest good and that of those you deal with.  Be confident that everyone can thrive.
• Remember: Think of the many times you've accomplished things you thought were impossible, until you achieved them.  You don't have to be that athlete that broke a record for the first time, and then many were able to break it again after that.  You certainly have experienced this yourself.

The Tesla was not invented by people who believed in the word impossible and neither were most of our greatest inventions.  Most of us can't stretch that far to such game changing examples but we can remember our own experience of turning the impossible to the possible, when we remember I'm possible.

This is the premise of my book "The 101% You" in which I offer a metaphor based on my doing a ropes course exercise: climbing a 50 foot pole, standing on a pizza-sized disc, turning 45 degrees and leaping to catch a trapeze bar.  Learn more about the book here.

Igniting a culture of believing and practicing this concept, of turning the impossible into the possible, with confidence in the "I'm possible," can go a long way in increasing employee engagement and empowerment in the workplace.

QUESTION: Does your company culture believe in and practice turning the impossible into the possible?  Share your experiences by adding a comment here or on Twitter.  Sign-up to receive my infrequent newsletter.

Five Ways to Live Respect As A Daily Practice

Let's face it, most companies create corporate core values and they get relegated to posters, fancy slogans and initiatives.  The companies that are committed to walking the talk of their core values are those that integrate their values into everything a business does--with both employees and customers.  From the way you hire, onboard, provide feedback and the day-to-day way you conduct business to those "moments of truth" when you take the higher road in challenging situations.

This is the first in a series I will be posting on corporate core values and suggestions on how to live them as a daily practice.  I chose to start with RESPECT as it's so fundamental.  I'm not talking the Aretha Franklin style of respect (as much as I love the song).  And I'm also not talking about niceties and simply being polite because you "should."  Here are 5 ways to authentically live respect daily at work (and in life):

Respect Yourself: Ok so I'll out myself as a Motown junkie.  I love the main premise of The Staples Singers song "Respect Yourself."  In the workplace, even more than the clash of egos, it's the insecure individual who is likely most disrespectful of others.  When you are truly comfortable in your own skin, you are less defensive and more open to different perspectives.

Assume Good Intent: Yes.  There are certain people who really get under our skin.  Take a breath.  Take yourself to a place of your greatest joy (e.g. playing with your kids, playing your favorite music or sport).  From that place, does holding a resentment make you happier or better?  It's your energy.  Choose how you use it wisely.

Listen to Learn and Learn to Listen:  In our fast paced world, most of us have a timer in our head when we listen to others that's saying "get to the point" and "so what, now what?"  Relationships are built on mutual understanding.  Take the time to get to know the people you work with.  Slow down and apply active listening principles.  Break your mental models (myths) about a person and really get to know them.

Get Curious and Seek to Understand: Many disagreements are about a lack of clarity and opposing views.  When you can suspend your own agenda and simply get curious (putting aside your assumptions) to truly understand the other--great things are possible in building respect.

Own Your Part: The job of the ego is to protect us (fight or flight).  When we respect ourselves and others, we know when we've made a mistake.  Own it.  Clean it up as soon as possible so it doesn't fester.  Make an offer of amends and give the other a chance to accept, modify or reject it.  Don't sell yourself short with a simple "sorry" which isn't worth anything.

Remember, the part of the classic Yoda quote "Do.  Or do not.  There is no try" most don't pay attention to is he first says "You must unlearn what you have learned."  Challenge your assumptions about the people you judge.  Seek to truly understand them and the hidden truths that lie within.  I guarantee you there's gold inside.  Report back on what you find!

If you believe in walking the talk, please sign-up to receive a periodic summary of my writing. Visit www.bobbybakshi.com to learn how I can help your team.  Follow me on Twitter @bobby_bakshi. 

How to Practice Non-Violence in Business Today

Dr. King’s philosophy of nonviolence includes these six principles:

PRINCIPLE ONE: Nonviolence is a way of life for courageous people.

PRINCIPLE TWO: Nonviolence seeks to win friendship and understanding.

PRINCIPLE THREE: Nonviolence seeks to defeat injustice not people.

PRINCIPLE FOUR: Nonviolence accepts suffering without retaliation.

PRINCIPLE FIVE: Nonviolence chooses love instead of hate.

PRINCIPLE SIX: Nonviolence believes that the universe is on the side of justice.

SIX STEPS OF NONVIOLENCE IN BUSINESS

Interpreting Dr. King's philosophy of nonviolence to business today, here are steps you can take to practice these principles TODAY and co-create the promise of "I Have a Dream" (he was talking to each of our individual dreams that add up to the collective global dream of love, freedom and oneness).

1. Check your Facts: Few things can be classified as 100% factual data.  There is far my personal perspective, judgement and opinion that taints true data.  Do the research to validate your assumptions and hypothesis.

2. Hunger to Learn: Company cultures that lead all inquiry from a hunger to understand and be curious thrive.  Challenge opinions to learn, rather than holding firm to your personal agenda.  Meet people where they are on this path.

3. Be Personally Committed: Daily check your assumptions and challenge your own hidden motives.  Prepare yourself to let go of the opinions you hold, toward the highest good of all involved.

4. Welcome Open Discussion: When each person on a team can be open to discussing a disagreement, with humor, grace and intelligence, they avoid humiliating and call forth the good in the other.

5. Stand For the Higher Good: When the other is unwilling to have an open discussion, reinforce the bigger purpose of why your company/team exists.  Be careful not to preach but connect with common ground.

6. Always Make The Relationship Your Highest Goal: Nonviolence does not seek to defeat the other personally but challenges the values and principles at hand.  Better understanding of each other takes you closer to being a 'Beloved Work Community' where great things are possible together.

Thank you Dr. King for inspiring this interpretation.  May we come closer to living your principles in all that we do, one person at a time.

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We All Want To Be Heard

The need to be understood is fundamental to human existence and happiness.  We are attracted to like minded people and gather in tribes.  Organizational cultures thrive when there is a common understanding of purpose, values and intent to co-create a desired outcome.

Yet as humans we all have unique perspectives.  It's those conversations when there is a disconnect that can be the greatest moments for self discovery and growth.  As always, each of us are at choice.  You can ignore what just happened.  Make up stories about the person and interaction.  Walk away with a grudge.

Here are just three of many ways to learn from those moments of disconnect:

Make Relationship Your Primary Goal: If you believe like me that we are all seeking happiness and to be in good relationship with those we work with, then catch yourself when there is a disconnect in a conversation.  Ask yourself: "Would I rather be right or happy?"  Even if you answer "right" can you at least take the time to seek to understand the other?

Listen to Learn: Get curious.  It's totally natural to hold on to your perspective.  Can you at least park your perspective long enough, your agenda, to truly listen to the other person's perspective?  Try putting on their shoes and deeply understanding where they are coming from.  Ask open-ended "what" questions rather than "why."  Meet the person where they are.

Intent vs. Impact: Remember no two people on the planet think alike.  Despite gathering in tribes, we are all unique individuals.  When you approach a conversation with curiosity and drop assumptions, you ask open questions to understand the person's intent.  After fully hearing them you share the impact their intent had on you.  Then you let the other person do the same.

When we can remember we are all human beings (not human doings), we can bring humanity into the workplace.  Healthy conflict is necessary to thrive.  These three tips are just some ways to enrich your conversations for a thriving workplace.

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Three Steps to Living a 101% Life

According to the Organization for Economic Co-operation and Development, the average U.S. worker spends 1,789 hours working in 2014.  As Satya Nadella (CEO of Microsoft) recently said at DreamForce:

"We spend far too much time at work for it not to have a deeper meaning."

Ask yourself, do you really evaluate your choices, your goals against this criteria--doing work that matters?By now, you've likely decided on your goals for 2016.  See if the concept of The 101% You (title of my book) applies to the goals you’ve chosen:

#1. We only have 100%: We often hear people talk about giving it 110% or higher.  Some leaders ask their people to give more than 100%.  The reality is we all only have 24 hours.  That’s how I define our 100% as time is integral to SMART goals.

#2. Be clear about what matters most to You: We all get to choose how we spend our 24 hours.  Some of us care for our health and body.  We ensure we get x number of hours of sleep, and exercise etc.  Be conscious that you are always at choice regarding what you say “yes” or “no” to.

#3. Expect the unexpected extra 1%: Regardless of your spiritual belief, hopefully you have had several times when you recognize something greater than yourself was at play to make things happen, beyond your efforts.  The 1% represents the infinite possibilities and they come through us, from with us and source beyond our control.

All it takes is one person to BELIEVE in something impossible to make it possible and to bring others along.  You already have your answers.  The job of supportive leaders, managers and friends (as coaches) is to ask powerful questions that open you up to your answers.  Get silent and listen for what’s most important to you and then set goals to go do that this year.  Do your part and expect miracles!

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Pour Your Heart Into It

Lots of research shows that New Years resolutions don't last.  SMART goals, with support accountability and consistent practice do work.

I smiled reading a poster I noticed at Starbucks this morning "Pour Your Heart Into It."  I believe I just received my theme for 2016.  There's more research that says our heart is our true brain.  Do we need evidence?  Hopefully you are with me.  The evidence is in our own results.  For me, I definitely have been most successful when I pour my heart into what I'm doing.  Flow (thank you Mihaly Csiksgentmihalyi) happens when challenge and skill increase together, until we reach that top right quadrant.

In my book, The 101% You, I lay out these seven steps that can be used to accomplish anything we desire.  Yes, often we must "rinse, lather, repeat" and eventually we get our desired outcome or better.

Step 1: Be clear about your intention, your desired outcome
Step 2: Make sure your intention is YOUR choice
Step 3: Make your commitment real and be accountable to another
Step 4: Do the work necessary with focus and tenacity
Step 5: Put all your power into what matters to you
Step 6: Integrate the lessons you've learned as you get close to your goal
Step 7: Enjoy the gift of your victories, small and big

I invite you to try this out with your most important goals for 2016.  Share how it works for you by leaving a comment here.  May this be your best year yet!

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Three Ways to Clear Your Cookies Before Setting 2016 Goals

A recent pleasant surprise led me think, what if we could clear our negative self-talk and patterns of belief?  Here’s what happened.  We were having challenges logging in to our Netflix account across various families devices.  I did my own trouble shooting for about two weeks, with mixed results.  When the pattern kept recurring, I decided to give Netflix a call, fully expecting to be put through several hoops and consuming a lot of time.

I got through to a pleasant Netflix representative right away (perhaps it was 2-3 minutes but felt immediate).  And had my problem resolved and was a happy camper in another 2 minutes or so.  The solution: to simply type www.netflix.com/clearcookies on my browser.  It worked and was so simple.

Now imagine if we could approach our recurring patterns of complaining, dissatisfaction and overall negativity in a similar manner.  Here are three steps to quickly get over those recurring negative self-talk patterns:

#1. Awareness: Recognizing that you have a problem or negative thought is the beginning of change and remembering you have many options on how to solve it.  I was frustrated about my challenges logging into Netflix.

#2. Action: You don’t have to solve it yourself but you do need to take a step forward.  Having recognized your self-talk, now choose to catch yourself faster, rather than wallowing in it.  I searched for a solution online, and then called Netflix support.

#3. Shift: With awareness and action the first time, you’ve set a new pattern of how to approach this particular negative self-talk.  Now imagine if you can do that each time?  Simply choose to “clear your cookies” and replace them with new more affirmative beliefs.

Remember, shifting a mental pattern is as easy as recognizing it’s simply your pattern, you can change it whenever you choose and then shifting your perspective by just making it so.

If you are struggling to determine which of your negative patterns to start with first, simply look at what annoys you the most—about yourself, your surroundings, your work etc.  There in lines the beginning to your positive shift.  To give you a jump start, here are some negative patterns are: “I’m not good enough,” “I’m not worthy,” “They are better than me,” “Why does this always happen to me?”

Question: What recurring negative pattern can you think of?  Are you willing to shift it to a positive pattern?

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Your Brand's Hero's Journey

These are the worst of times and the best of times. The question is are individuals, organizations and media willing to shed light on what’s truly not working. Thank you Dunlavey for this fun visual that is one take on Joseph Campbell's Hero's Journey.

First a primer on the Hero’s Journey: it is the foundation of every single classic story/film from Star Wars, The Matrix, and Harry Potter. They all follow these 3 core steps: Separation, Initiation and Return. This process is true for individuals–be it your career, your relationships, or aspirations in life. It plays out with brands just as powerfully from the launch and rebirth of a product–it’s all the same stuff.

Here’s my take on a brands Hero’s Journey, with The Matrix as our classic story example and Xbox as our brand story:

SEPARATION: Market conditions dictate breaking out of the old and into new paradigms. Some see the horizon (and few over the horizon) faster than others. From disintermediation of so many categories lately (e.g. travel agents to online travel booking) there is constant separation occurring. Let’s call this a battle to shake the old/current way of doing things and being open to new ways of tackling human problems and aspirations.

In The Matrix, Neo was numb. He was less than happy at work and didn’t have anything he was truly excited about. Then he receives a phone call that leads to meeting with Morpheus. During the meeting Neo has the epic moment to choose between the red and blue pill. To refresh your memory (or if you haven’t seen the movie), the red and blue pill are symbols representing the choice between the blissful ignorance of illusion (blue) and embracing the sometimes painful truth of reality (red). He chose the red pill. Naturally, Neo chooses the red pill.

For brands, the blue pill translates to staying ignorant to change, refusing to recognize the shift occurring and its impact on your brand. The red pill for a brand would be choosing to step out into the likely unknown territory, to explore, learn and grow into new frontiers.

Let's look at Xbox's Hero's Journey. Microsoft’s strength is B2B with amazing successes in enterprise selling. Xbox was the first true big-bet into a consumer offering. It took the courage and audacity to venture into this new territory with formidable opponents (particularly one—Nintendo at the time). That was the separation.

Ask yourself, as stewards of a brand (and I contend we are all stewards of the brand we represent), are you willing to recognize the true cycle (beyond buzz word “life cycle”) of your brand? Is it time to shake things up? As Seth Godin says, is it time to “Poke the Box?”

INITIATION: The next phase is initiation, assuming you listen to the call. It is to move into change, to poke beyond your comfort zone. In the beginning it’s painful and full of strong emotions. Yet once you are in the midst of the “battle” (almost always internal), there is no turning back.

Neo could not go back once he chose the red pill. Neither can a brand once you’ve put a strategy in motion. It’s not just about the financial and other investment of resources but it’s about seeing it through. It’s human nature to not quit even when the going is tough.

Xbox’s initiation was long and continuous for five plus years. They asked to be left alone to create a unique culture needed to innovate in a totally new space. They definitely failed many times before scoring the big win. They were a big financial drain on Microsoft. While they were busy inventing and iterating, competitors were busy launching new versions of their gaming consoles. The list of obstacles is endless. The point is, every brand goes through it’s challenges—it’s initiation toward maturing, toward growing up to be the best it can be.

Now think of your biggest challenge for your brand and your team? What needs to happen for you to step through that challenge? I bet a dose of courage and confidence would help in most cases. Do you have a leader who has set a clear vision and course toward a North Star? Is the leader bringing the team along on the journey, reminding them that there will be many hurdles along the path? Does the leader relentlessly believe in the vision to stand up against all opponents and protect the team?

RETURN: Assuming you make it through separation and initiation, now comes the true Gift, or as it’s known in the Hero’s Journey model, the Return. It’s the true realization that we are all brilliant and have great contributions to make. It’s about personal (internal) excellence, not externally imposed or accepted excellence. This is truly about breaking out of the norm into completely new paradigms. This is about doing the impossible. It can be simple, though not easy.

For Neo, there were many moments of the recognition of his role in the story. My favorite moment is his meeting the Oracle. She is a mysterious but powerful figure, incongruously depicted as a cheerful old lady who smokes cigarettes and bakes cookies. Later, she is revealed to be a sapient program (perhaps God) who is integral to the very nature of the Matrix itself. In this recognition is also the implied reality of our individual power in our own matrix, the world we live in.

For Xbox the return in terms of bottom line success continues to play out. The return to celebrates accomplishing the arduous task of doing the impossible and forging new ground and continuously improving upon it. Having said that, I’m simply illustrating one product brand for now. Remember, the cycle of the Hero's Journey continues. It's a new chapter each time with new challenges to overcome. That's why the movie industry has sequels.

Regardless of how you define success (a “happy ending” that we all expect in a story) there is always a completion of the cycle. Hopefully there is always a community, a team that is willing and able to receive you back into the fold. For a brand, one part of that community are your loyal customers that believe in you, trust you and keep coming back. Or not. Remember your customer has her own Hero's Journey and each one is different. Your brand can unite your community when you find that common connection that resonates.

In closing, for those brand stewards that believe in and are striving toward “winning the heart and minds of customers” ask yourself: are you clear about your brands Hero’s Journey? Are you intimately clear about your customer’s current stage in their Hero’s Journey? Have you invited your internal and external stakeholders along on your Hero’s Journey?

These are amazing times of opportunity. The social media revolution has little to do with technology (that’s simply an enabler) and everything to do with the heart and desires of humanity. Stay awake with curiosity, get clear about your brands journey consciously and have fun along the way.

Please comment here or contact me directly to share the Hero’s Journey of your brand. I am here to listen, learn and contribute to your growth.  Sign-up for my newsletter.

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3 Choices When Execs Happen

Bet all of us have experienced those “change of plan” moments when an executive asks for something or invites you to a meeting at the last minute, impacting your other commitments. Most of us drop everything and step up to serve our leaders. Execs Happen. The chain of power says you bow to their requests (in many cases—commands).

In the spirit of what I teach and practice, I always attempt to stop and get self critical about what’s my part (one finger pointing out = at least 3 pointing back at me). Here are some choices to consider to be in integrity with yourself:

1. Say “no”—rarely the one most of us choose and certainly an option. I just invite you to consider the what your fears are if this is not a choice.
2. Check Your Power—as there is almost always a power differential, getting aware of this is a starting point. Plus, are you empowered or giving away your power?
3. Say “yes” and keep your power—by speaking your truth. Let the executive know the impact of their choices on other commitments and then give it your best.

Yes there are many more choices. I choose to share just 3 as they are all simple ways to check-in with yourself and make a conscious choice. Most of us do things in “auto-pilot” and build up resentments and disempowering behaviors. When we can stop and discern what’s right for us, and when it doesn’t feel right find a way that works (not a compromise) then we are closer to happiness and freedom.

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Getting Naked at Work

Kahlil Gibran's "The Prophet" is often quoted for what he says about children: “Your children are not your children. They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself..."  Recently I happened to open the book to a part I didn't know existed--about clothes. Here's what Gibran says:

"And the weaver said, "Speak to us of Clothes."  And he (The Prophet) answered: Your clothes conceal much of your beauty, yet they hide not the unbeautiful."

That got me thinking; imagine if we all walked around naked, even in corporate work environments.  After all, our clothes are one way people judge us as the cliché says by the “book cover:” most sales people dress great and look like a million dollars; engineers wear shorts/jeans/t-shirts; executives in some organizations still wear a suit daily, even internally.

You often dress a certain way at work based on the company culture.  Even with jeans, in some cultures the norm is expensive designer jeans and in others those brands are looked down upon. Fill in the blanks with the many stereotypes.

Beyond the literate about clothes at work, Gibran's statement gives us much to ponder.

Our clothes conceal much of our beauty

·       Do your clothes reflect your true self or one that you feel you need to project for others?

·       Are you shining your true beauty regardless of the clothes you wear.

·       Are your words in integrity with your personal values?

·       Are you willing and able to reflect your unique self or tend to conform?

When we can truly first recognize the beauty in each of us, without fixing anything and expecting people to confirm—then we welcome true diversity and open up to taking risks that lead to innovation.  Being vulnerable (yes, even at work) and accepting yourself first, just the way you are, opens you up to stand confidently to contribute to a company.  And when senior leaders, founders, owners model the way—others breath more freely.

Yet they hide not the unbeautiful

·       Ever experienced someone dressed immaculately behaving like a total jerk?

·       Clothes don’t hide actions and how people show up in situations.

·       What’s it like to receive that condescending look, even without words?

So what would the world of work look like if we were more open with each other—willing to get naked and vulnerable with our truth?

1. People say what they mean (and have shorter meetings)
2. Focus on what's most important to each person (instead of dancing around agendas)
3. Laughing with raw joy at being so liberated (and not so politically correct)
4. Truly celebrating differences, beyond diversity “initiatives”
5. Calling out BS of others and owning our own shit
6. Being vulnerable to admit not having all the answers or knowing what to do
7. Expressing and owning our feelings and judgments without needing to be right

If this resonates with you, go take it for a test drive.  Share it with others and sign-up to receive my blog when I’m inspired to write next.  Sign-up for my infrequent newsletter.

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Your "Me" Reflects on the "We" of Your Team

Most companies and leaders emphasize team spirit and collaboration. Few get the true benefits of starting with the individual, one person at a time. It’s like the flight attendant announces “put on your own oxygen mask first before assisting a child or someone else.” You can’t create an effective team without first understanding each person that makes up the team.

The “Me” is reflected in the “We.” It takes each person to be engaged, energized and empowered in order to have a team that works collaboratively toward common goals.

Yes, it takes time to do this and it’s certainly less painful than dealing with dysfunctional teams later. You choose.

Further, most companies establish a company mission statement and have core values.  They are often created collectively by gathering in put from individuals and teams.  That’s great. However, do they take the time to see how the mission and values resonate with each individual? Can they personally relate and authentically make it their own? If you separate a person into “work” and “life” then you are not getting the best of the individual. In order to create a culture where people realize their full potential it’s critical to make space for individuals to get clear about their personal values and purpose, before relating them to the company.

To illustrate with myself, I work at a company with a very important mission in the health care space. I relate to it but that’s not why I am excited to go into work. I’m excited to go do what I do there because I get to further my new career in people development. When I connect with work that way, I am fulfilling my personal need for purpose, autonomy and mastery (thank you Daniel Pink for “Drive”).

Wouldn’t it benefit leaders to have each person arrive at this level of connection with their work, beyond a paycheck? Here is one approach to creating a Me/We culture:

1. Explore “Me”:

Make time, ideally in a day-long team workshop, to allow individuals to get clear about their personal values, what’s most important to them, what factors are deal breakers and their personal why—purpose. Most people need to be prompted to discover their values and purpose. Recalling defining life stories or peak events is a good way to prompt people to learn from their experiences.

2. Clarify “We”:

Most teams have a general sense of how they add value and contribute to the overall company mission. Few teams take the time to articulate this clearly and then embed this team value proposition into how they do everything—prioritizing work, setting the tone on desired behaviors, aligning goals and performance metrics etc.

3. Connect the “Me” and “We”:

Now comes the moment of truth. Having explored personal values and purpose and clarified the team’s reason for being, now each individual gets to connect the two parts and reflect on how closely they are aligned. For instance, if you value autonomy (defined by Dan Pink as “the desire to direct our own lives”) and are constantly told what to do and how to do it by your manager—there is a clear disconnect.

These steps are simple enough but not necessarily easy. Eventually, it’s up to each individual to get honest with themselves to assess if there is a disconnect between the “Me” and the “We.” It takes courage on the part of a leader to open up a safe space for her people to explore their personal why and values and be ok with the outcome. It is far more efficient to have someone wake up to the fact that they are a “misfit” through self-awareness, than for management or HR to have to raise a lack of fit with a person.

The benefits far out-weight the potential downside of this approach: higher employee engagement, greater productivity, and authentic collaboration that allows people to freely co-create solutions.

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Five Ways to Have Fun at Work

According to Gallup “of the approximately 100 million people in America who hold full-time jobs, 30 million (30%) are engaged and inspired at work, so we can assume they have a great boss.”  It’s true, the biggest reason people are dissatisfied and leave a job is their boss and the reverse is true.

A lot of attention is paid to managers’ responsibility to create a conducive environment for people to do their best work.  True.  That’s important.  I invite us to flip that.  What’s an individual’s responsibility to “do what they love and love what they do?”  Knowing we all face challenging work environments, here are five keys to making work fun for yourself, in any company culture and with any manager.

#1. Be a Beginner

Wake up every morning willing to let go of all that fantastic intellect you bring and ready to challenge what you know.  Feeling stuck at work is typically about not feeling like we are growing and learning.  Apply a “beginners mind” and make it an internal game with yourself.

#2. Be Selfish

Most company cultures strive to create a “we” and “us” environment.  Yes, that’s a lofty goal.  The path to an authentically thriving team environment must start with caring for yourself.  Be clear about what you want at work, name it and claim it.  No one else will, so it might as well be you.  Ask yourself in any situation “what’s in it for me?”  Remember what they tell us on airplanes: “put your oxygen mask on first before helping a child or person next to you.”  Redefine selfish as being self-responsible.

#3. Be at Choice

The moment you feel stuck, forced to be or do something that doesn’t resonate with you make a choice.  Is the situation worth your energy?  If no—move on.  If yes, what can you learn in the situation?  Is it really about you or the other person?  Are you willing to take a radically different approach?  Your choices are endless.  In the end, you are always at choice about how you react or respond to a situation.  

#4. Be You

Oscar Wilde said “Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.”  How often do you consciously recognize that you are comparing yourself to others?  It’s likely not something you do consciously.  Try it for a day.  Notice when you get angry or sad.  Notice when you compare, condemn or criticize a person or situation.  Then let go of what’s not yours to do and be you.

#5. Be Compassionate

If you believe we are all at choice on how we react or respond to a situation, what’s stopping you from being compassionate?  Creating or participating in work drama is totally your choice.  To be clear, being compassionate doesn’t mean taking a “soft” approach.  Speak your truth and still do it with the best interest of the other person and yourself in mind.

Thank you for reading these five simple and not always easy keys to making work fun for you.  Go do it yourself today and share your experience with others here.  If you choose, sign-up for our mailing list, share this with others and commit to thriving together.

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